"Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
and the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait."
Wait: verb. to stay where one is or delay action until a particular time or until something else happens; to stay in place in expectation of:
We wait in lines. We wait to cross the street. We wait for life transformation. We wait for someone else to apologize. We wait for the movie to start. We wait for healing. We wait for our ships to come in. We wait for love. We wait...
Waiting is the worst. It is burdensome, tiring, and often to no avail. Not to mention how hard it is to hold on to hope when we seem to be stuck somewhere, forced to wait. When there are no signs of anything changing, and the helpless feeling that creeps up on us because no matter how hard we try, nothing is giving way. Sometimes it downright stings. Waiting is difficult because it goes against almost every human inclination for instant gratification, status, greed, fear, jealousy and self-worship. The urges for those things often are not worth fighting against because of the pain it inflicts on our hearts to trust in something that we can't see.
"for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. we wait with eager hope..." Romans 8:23
So many times I have found myself wondering where I could ever find hope during the waiting process. I wonder if i will just spend my life waiting and then die, and never get what I want for my life. And then of course, I'll have to pretend to be happy for everyone around me when they get all the things that are being kept from me.
And then I look to the heart of Jesus. My heart grieves because of my own selfishness and unwillingness to be patient. He knows what I want, but He has something better in mind.
"...and i grumbled to God, 'So I'm waiting..for what?!"
he seemed, then, to kneel, and his eyes wept with mine,
and He tenderly said, 'I would give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want--but you wouldn't know Me."
The thing is, He knows our hearts. He knows the pain and scars, he knows what brings us joy. On top of all of that, he knows what we need, when we need it, and is glad to give in His timing. He is good to remind us that we are not writing our own stories. If we hope for something, it may be that He wants to give it to us in a matter of time. It may also (and most often) be that He has something totally different for us. If I received everything I prayed for when I prayed for it, I would have been held back from things that are far greater than anything I could have asked for or imagined--experiences and relationships that have shown me the depths of His love. He witholds certain things because He desperately wants us to know Him more.
"The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.
'You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that, 'my grace is sufficient for thee.'"
He alone is the author of life. If we can grasp His immense love for us and acknowledge that He is the source of everything good, wise, and loving, then we can find rest in waiting. Not because we like to, but because we can wholeheartedly trust Him who is calling us to wait. And because He promises in His word that He will help us in the process. He entrusts us with His truth, to be diligent to pursue it, and in return trust Him with our lives.
"If we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. and the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness." Romans 8:25-26
There is a lot of unknown associated with waiting, but take heart in this promise: the unknown to us is fully known by Him. The less we have in front of us, the more unknown there is and therefore more room for His far greater work to be done.
"And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, 'Wait'".
